For months I have not had any inspiration at all to write, to share. I have sat numerous times in front of my laptop, with what seemed like hundreds of thoughts running through my mind yet still coming up blank.
Today, now, this morning it’s different. I was just sat outside, reading over my journals from 2021, doing a little reflecting and I just had to grab my laptop to share this with you all.
I am only up to mid February and a big theme from the beginning of the year was tapping back in. Tapping back in through being present with myself. For me that looked like, and still does look like, mediation, yoga, dancing and being outside with nature.
Before I continue I will just pop in a little background here. For the past few months now I have felt a lost, unsure of where to put my feet, in a general state of unease and uncomfortableness. These feelings are not new to me. I have spent a lot of the past two years feeling like this. Having bouts of feeling like this. The difference this time is the foundation on which this unease sits. There was no foundation before. The uncomfortableness, those lost feelings, they were very much to do with who I was. Now those feelings are based around what I want from life, what I want life to look like. And for the first time in a long time I have no idea of the direction I want to take.
As I read the pages from those first couple of months of last year, as I sat feeling all kinds of unease, I put down my journal, I closed my eyes and I just sat. I can’t say it was mediation because I was so distracted. But I was paying attention to my thoughts.
There are a lot of posts at the moment with people summing up 2021. I myself have done these in the past. I have loved doing this in the past. This year I haven’t. There hasn’t been a pull to set intentions for 2022 either.
And as I sat with my eyes closed I wondered why…
The more I have tuned in with cycles, with natures cycles, with astrological cycles, with my own internal cycles, the less January 1st has felt like an ending and a beginning.
My personal laps around the sun are significant to me. More so than the Earths lap. Which is why each year around my birthday I sit and reflect on the year that was. It really is the time of the year we get to celebrate us, who we are and what we have in our lives. And I did this just a few months ago.
The natural world isn’t exactly supporting us to make bold resolutions, to sit in deep reflection at this time. No matter where you are in the world we are at the top or bottom of the cycle. Summer sees us in full bloom and Winter sees us in deep hibernation. Summer can see us buoyed with optimism, which is amazing but can leave us a little out of touch with reality. Winter can see us so buried in our cocoons, the light can be hard to see and harness. Its the transition moments, the time between Summer and Winter, that allow us the space to reflect and move forward. Think about these moments like dawn and dusk, like the pause at the bottom of your breath. They are moments of quietness, of stillness, of space. For me these are the moments of reflection and intention setting.
These moments, the Autumn or Spring Equinox, where honoured, where celebrated, where given great significance before a reliance on our modern day calendar.
This ties in with the astrological cycle which begins with Aries season at the end of March. This always coincides with the Autumn Equinox in the Southern Hemisphere and the Spring Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere. Aries is about ‘me’. About what ‘I’ want and getting started towards making that happen. You don’t need to be an Aries to feel this. It is the energy that the sun brings as it travels through the Aries part of the sky. We all have access to this!
Remember each month we get a New Moon that allows us to set intentions, to plant seeds, to give us a focus. There really should not be pressure to have it all figured out at one point every year.
None of this is to sway how you feel. I share this more as an invitation to honour and work from where you are and what you are feeling. If it feels juicy to reflect, do it! If it gives you all kinds of excitement to set goals for this next year, go for it! None of this needs to feel forced, none of this needs to feel overwhelming. If it feels like a ‘have to’ then do as I am doing and put it aside until the time you do feel the excitement for it.