As far back as my teens I was all about the the doing, the hustle, the achieving. My dream job when I finished school and headed off to uni to study a BBA was to be CEO of Cadbury’s. I wanted to wear the power suit, I wanted to have my own office and I always wanted to be the one leading – and I did think an endless supply of chocolate would be a bonus!.
Needless to say my 20’s were spent about achieving this dream. I didn’t get the office, I didn’t get an endless supply of chocolate but I did get to wear a suit to work with some pretty fun heels.
What I did manage was a decade of searching for the thing that I thought would make me happy. It was a decade of pushing, of discontentment, of misalignment. Not that I could see the misalignment at the time. As for the pushing and discontentment, it was the noughties, we were sold the notion that to get anywhere you had to push + hustle and if it hurt a little along the way that was just the price you had to pay to reach your goals.
Then I hit my 30’s.
I can see a lot of people taking pause in their lives around this time if they have been a little off course during their 20’s. There is a definite course correction.
My course correction came in the area of my health.
There were warning signs all through my 20’s, endometriosis, some pretty extreme gut issues, the constant sore throats and extreme afternoon energy slumps. But I wasn’t going to let any of this stop me. Go hard or go home right?
The saddest thing was I didn’t even realise my body was trying to tell me something…
I was so disconnected from my body.
The first time I really began to pay attention to my body and what it was trying to tell me was when I began to put on weight. Nothing had changed. In fact I was beginning to tighten up the diet and increase the workouts but the weight was still slowing increasing.
It was at this time I decided to come off contraception to see if that would help the weight. It was my first ‘oh-shit’ moment. My period didn’t come back. And I’m not talking about the 3 months it can take for your body to readjust I’m talking over 12 months.
My body has stopped whispering – it was now screaming…
Until this time I wasn’t aware that the food I put in my body, the way I moved my body, what I thought about myself or the way I connected with the world had any bearing on my health. I wasn’t aware that my body was always giving me feedback as to what would support me.
I have experienced other ‘oh-shit’ moments in my health ranging from gut and skin conditions through to adrenal dsyregulation and the continuing of hormonal troubles.
I have also experienced a deeper connection with myself – my body, my mind and my spirit. My connection with my body has been restored. This connection didn’t happen overnight. Like any good relationship we had to learn how to communicate.
Re-establishing this connection has been the single biggest factor in restoring my health and my happiness.