At the beginning of the New Year I love watching the day break + writing in my journal. This year began no differently. As I opened my journal to begin I told myself that I didn’t want this entry to be doom + gloom.
I have seen so many posts on my socials along the lines of “thank goodness 2020 is done” or that 2021 has the job of being better than 2020. Each time I’ve seen these it makes my heart a little sad. Sure it’s been a wild year. But it’s not been the only tough year we have experienced in our lives. The enormity (+ the joy) of this year, is that we went through it collectively.
To offer a different view I’m going to share with you what I wrote this morning…
A little context before I begin. I was gifted the most gorgeous of journals before I left Australia by my family. For the past couple of months I have barely written in it as I coming to the final pages. Today as I say down I had 3 pages left…
1st Janurary 2021
“Ok let’s get this journal finished. I have been totally puttig it off. I wanted so much from this journal. I wanted it to be filled with stories of adventures, of meeting new people, of exploring, of love, of learning, of getting uncomfortable.
It’s like by somehow not finishing it means that I still had chance to somehow make all that happen… But let’s face it, that is not how this works. and I need to keeping moving forward.
Now whilst I didn’t get the adventures or the meeting of a heap of wonderful new people or physically exploring – I have met myself in this journal.
Not only have I met myself I have learned to love every peice of myself.
I have explored the depths of my soul, really understanding myself. I have explored parts that I was too scared to tred in the past.
And the learning! Boy has there been lerning. Until this year I did not realise how much there was to learn. About myself, about my world. When you learn about yourself it allows you to be able to see others around you so much clearer, to really understand them. Through that understanding comes love + forgiveness. Two important keys to unlock your heart + ensure it remains open to love.
All of this learning has been given to me through getting uncomfortable. And most importantly, leaning into those uncomfortable places. Not fighting against it but inviting it in, allowing it to show me what it is I need to let go of.
As humans we struggle with this. I have most certainly struggled with this. But we are apart of nature. And nature does this all the time. Whether it comes from the cycles of the seasons. Winter allowing us to shed + go within. Summer allowing us to shine in all our glory. Or from larger events like bushfires, floods or earthquakes – points in time in which we are a reset.
I used to shy away, no actaully run away from these uncomfortable places. I used to hold onto the pieces that were crumbling away by the force of the earthquakes. No anymore. The journeys this journal has captured has shown me when I allow myself to be uncomfortable I spring back brighter than ever. And the more I stopped resisting the quicker I shine again.
When the earthquakes, the fires + the floods come I no longer hold onto those parts that are crumbling, burning or washing away. I honour the value those parts, those people + those thoughts have given me then I let them go.
So did 2020 + this journal give me what I hoped for?
Well yes it did. Just not how I envisioned it. 2020 taught me to release the need for things to look + be a certain way. It taught me trust + have faith.
So I’m stepping into 2021 contining the adventure, the meetings, the love + the learnings.”