This very crude and un-poetic rip-off of the ending to the 90’s classic 10 Things I Hate About You was written to help me release.
I wrote this a few weeks ago and feel that now, under the power of a particularly strong full moon lunar eclipse, was the perfect time to release it. Full moons allow the time and space to release what we need to in order to move forward. This could be people, emotions, habits, thought patterns – anything that stops us from moving forward. It feels that by releasing this I am also releasing all of the emotions that it carries. Without healing and releasing at all levels (physical, emotional, spiritual) our health will never be able to be maximised.
You may yourself have felt quite shaken over the past few days particularly in the areas of your home, family and roots where we find nurturing and security as this has been the focus and themes of the Cancer Full Moon. This may have effected you both emotionally and in the material sense. Realisations in these areas may have bubbled to the surface forcing you to confront some hard truths.
This is often a tough pill to swallow and one I have been reluctant to confront. As scary and unsettling as these breakthroughs can be, it is both necessary, liberating and an essential part of healing – and part of the path to nourishment.
For the past 8 months I have tried to make sense of why the person I loved walked out on me, on us. Each time I come up short; I still don’t understand how I am now in the place I am – emotionally and physically. And so I’m left with this…
The beauty and the healing comes from recognising and accepting where we are and being at peace with it. And always coming back to love.
10 Things I Hate About You…
I hate the way you filled me with hope, let me love you then took it all away.
I hate the way the little moments, the memorable occasions don’t feel as special now you are gone.
I hate the way I still think of you every day, you even haunt my dreams.
I hate the way I liked it when you made me smile especially when I was trying so hard to be mad with you.
I hate that now I’ve lost your support and encouragement I feel I’ve lost my way.
I hate how much I miss your jokes, your smile, your touch and the fact you made me cry.
I hate it that your not around and how it feels like your now just someone I used to know.
I hate the way you just left, leaving all the questions why.
I hate how much I would have given you and the fact that I still care.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not at all…
In sharing my vulnerable and raw side I hope that you to have the courage to explore these parts of yourself to express, acknowledge and rebuild them into something beautiful….
If you like to dive into the back catelogue of “Made By Didi” you will find all the open vulnerability + rawness here.