Its that time of the year again when we are called to reflect on the year that has been and set ourselves some resolutions for the year ahead. We are sometimes guilted into this by the self help movement. It feels almost like a should. And I believe anything that has a should attached to it needs to be let go. We need to live more with what we want to do, leaning into what feels good.
New Years Eve (NYE) has so much pressure put on it. Reaching midnight. Being with certain people. Receiving that all important kiss at the strike of midnight. Making sure we end the year in a certain way. Mostly the certain way we feel it should (that word again) end, is not actually anything we have thought about. It has been imposed on us through other peoples expectations of how the night plays out.
Then you need to have your resolutions set for the year ahead. Again more pressure. Not to mention the guilt you feel for not meeting the resolutions you set for yourself last year.
I gave up on both of these quite a few years ago.
In fact I’ve never been one for a big NYE. It just always feels like the hype never meets the reality. This was helped by years of working in hospitality during my formative party years (cue my late teens/early 20’s). When you have to work NYE you learn to celebrate the New Years in different ways. For me this became a celebration of some sort on New Years Day. Spent at BBQ’s with friends. At festivals with friends. Watching the sunrise. Heading out for a run/walk or a gym session. It morphed into a way to start the new year in a way I wanted it to continue.
Resolutions changed to more goals, intentions and feelings. You may be thinking that goals and resolutions are the same thing. I don’t see it like this. Resolutions by definition are firm and resolute. They don’t allow for any wriggle room. A goal is an aim, it gives a purpose. It allows us guidance. We can hit it, exceed it or even fall a little short, either way it’s ok. Its very similar to an intention in this regards. An intention is something you want or plan to do. I like to give myself freedom to move. To aim for something but not be tied to a particular way of doing it, or even the definitive outcome.
I just completed a beautiful intention setting ritual held by Jordanna Levin. In it we went through a process of writing down some of the things we wanted to achieve this year. There were a few different layers
1. Things we know we can achieve
2. Things that my be a stretch for ourselves to believe is possible
3. Things that just seem beyond the realm of possibility
I loved dong this. It really feels good to put some items down that you know you can tick off. Let’s face it will all like achievement! The stretch goals (the middle ones) are nice to have something to work towards. The pie in the sky goals allow our heads to dream, they give a little hope and magic.
This is the part that leaves us feeling warm and fuzzy and like we have set ourselves on the right path for the year. It’ the easy part. The hard part comes in actually doing something about it. Thats when we generally get stuck. Who likes dong the actual work. I know this is where I have let myself down in the past. And let’s face it, it is only us we are letting down.
Now for a couple of key pieces to help us end 2020 having actually achieved our goals and intentions.
For any of our goals or intentions to come to fruition we actually need to believe that we are worthy to have this stuff in our lives. There is no point setting an intention to find a new man, be happy at work, be financially secure if we don’t actually believe this is possible for us. If we don’t think we are worthy of a spunky man who looks at us like we are magic or we believe we will always struggle financially. And this comes down to our worthiness. You need to believe that you are worth (and you totally are!) every single one of the intentions and goals that you set.
You cannot just write down on a bit of paper that you want to be more financially secure and yet you have no idea where you money is going each month. You can’t have the intention of finding love in your life if you aren’t out there actually dating. Without the action piece your intentions and goals are merely wishes. Remember you are worthy of all that you want in your life so give yourself some love and go and get it!
I suggest every couple of weeks look over the intentions and goals you set yourself and write down one thing that you can do that will help you move towards what it is you want. And don’t over complicate it or make it hard. Lots of steady small steps in the right direction – will get you where you need to go.
Now for that reflection piece.
I actually like taking the time to look back. For me I gain so much insight into where I am now. In fact I do this not just around the new year but also at the beginning of the astrological year which kicks off with Aries season beginning on the 21st of March and around the time of my birthday. This gives me three times a year to reflect (I’ll share how I do this in another post). This is what works for me and in no way does it feel hard or torturous, in fact it feels easy – which is exactly how you want life to feel.
So as we come to the end of the year and are about to embark on another – in fact another decade! I invite you to honour what you want your New Years celebrations to look like – or even if you want to mark the occasion at all. Show yourself some love and do what lights you up and makes you hum – that is the way to start a new year!